Sunday is a day of rest, they say. After staying up til the squeaky wee hours yesterday in fun & nourishing ways, I spent the day very slow & sleepy.
A dear friend of mine & a very gifted artist came over today to do preliminary sketches for a stylized portrait of me. I asked if she would, so that I may have my breast (s?) memorialized in the most beautiful way I can conceive of.
I say it the questioning plural as today I talked to my next door neighbor who had a DCIS diagnosis & treatment six months ago. I will have more information to gently cover my questions when I see the surgeon on Wednsday.
He is my snow globe: turn me upside down and let your answers cover every surface, sir.
After my conversation with her a whole new realm of possibilities (read "unknowns") that I had not considered have been presented.
And, less than the actual procedures, it is the time off work that makes me go wide-eyed.
More than wide eyed. I would say "frozen", but it is not exactly that. More like being on my way out of the tractor beam as the unknown crew member on the Starship Enterprise gently depresses the levers. I am glittery and diffuse; the shape of me still visible but being disassembled to be reassembled elsewhere.
And isn't that the perfect metaphor for these life transitions?
I am becoming less that form that I have been to be able to land on a new planet of experience.
My reference points are changing. I will not know who I am until I am in the new place.
Just realizing this helps.
Touching my transponder, I am signing off.
This Lt. Uhura. I have arrived safely back in the present moment.
Over and out.
3 comments:
It must be crazy making to have to gather all the information and make a decision like this. So many unknowns that, as you say, you cannot know until you've gone through them.
I hope that after you talk with the surgeon some of the answers will be clearer.
i hadn't thought of the work missed time either. so much being tossed at you so quickly.
I am becoming less that form that I have been to be able to land on a new planet of experience.
i like that. and i am impressed you can find your way back to this present moment in the midst of all the might-be's. again i say, you are one amazing woman.
xoxo
Create yourself anew. Choose the new you with style, flair and grace Honey!
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