Aces high, buddy.

I am always so amazed that we humans seem to be learning & relearning the same basic 3 or 4 dozen life lessons over & over again...Seven billion personal spins on the life processes that every living human encounters...

This little jaunt with unwittingly overdoing it, having to do some backtracking mentally, regarding my expectations of healing, and some extra care from my friends in the holistic healing community, have brought me back to the same holy grail of realization as most before me: life can change directions at any moment and one of those changes in direction will read "The End".
Humorous & heartrending that we all "know" that, yet none of us know that until mortality whispers sweet nothings into our distracted ear.
Not being able to just jump back into my life at will, brought up for me just how close I was to a chapter that would have had a scrolled "Finis" after the last sentence.
Like all of those before me, I have been asking the questions we all would benefit from asking before the tall guy with the sickle arrives whistling a happy tune:
What would I be doing differently if I knew...

It is a good season, literally, to be asking these questions.
It is a long-running joke among all who know me, just how exceptionally calendar oriented I am.
I plan things on a very long time line so as to make room for many, many things.
By this point in the year I have my next year's calendar set in beautifully polished stone. My days off are chosen, seminars to teach or take already penned in, yearly events, such as when to attend the Quilt Festival and Renaissance Faire are set, usually with hotel reservations already made, as well. Birthdays, anniversaries, monthly meetings, neighborhood holiday get-togethers, all on the H.C. (Holy Calendar).
I do this for myself, but also for my clients, so those who wish to book ahead, to have standing appointments, can choose their times with confidence.
The H.C. for next year is in my home, ready to be formatted.

So. What *would* I be doing differently if I knew...?
I'd be doing more art. more quilting, I would actually have a regular physical activity ("exercise") that I enjoyed.
I know. It sounds so very basic, but I have for lo, these many decades of my career, pencilled in everything I just mentioned, and if _____ then I would do those essential life activities for myself.
If: I wasn't too tired, something else came up, yada yada yada.
So American.
So silly.

This week as I unwrap the 2012 H.C. I will sit in silent contemplation of my life first.
I will pencil in time for Continuum and weight workouts (yes, I am a heretic that way!) and walks and dance.
I will make drawing, quilting, encaustics and multi media work a regular part of my life, not just tucked in around the edges.
There will still be plenty of work time, and trips, and all the rest.
I just had to get here first, I guess; the reshaping of the outside making room for the reshaping of my internal map.
Something lost exchanged for something to be gained.
Not a bad hand.