Yesterday was quite the day. I had packed the car the night before with the quilt and dozens of items for the silent auction. I went to Celebration Circle and enjoyed a wonderful time with everyone then helped set up for my fundraiser concert.
Two friends of mine from a cooking group that 8 or 9 of us have had together for years brought what looked to me like hundreds of cookies (I don't think I am exaggerating a bit) of about a dozen varieties, along with bags of trail mix and coffee for a delicious bake sale.
We had twenty four feet of table space to accommodate all of the silent auction items and my quilt which was being raffled off was displayed on stage.
People began arriving about fifteen minutes before the show and soon my niece, who was performing, had to abdicate her post at the front door.
I took over because it was the most joyous and energizing thing in the world to greet person after person who had come to support and love me. A reunion and the sweetest party ever.
The music was phenomenal! Rudi Harst and the Circle Band were absolutely electric, Sarah Bading's powerful voice was awe inspiring (her version of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah brought me to tears) and Dorothy Sapyta sang with a passion that radiated from her.
Rudi reminded everyone of the essential truths of our wholeness and unlimited Beingness, and then had everyone there turn their attention to me, asking them to see me as whole and healed.
I have been in the midst of some amazing energy fields in my brief 52 years, but I have never felt the power of that kind of clear intent being held for me by so many.
I came up to say a few words, in brief expressing my deep gratitude for this journey with DCIS & all that it has forwarded in my life and in the lives of others who have shared their experience with me.
I know that to some it may sound trite or heretical, but I wouldn't trade this walk for anything.
I thanked people by name and by functions in my life, and in that day, and soaked in the faces out in the house. (we were in a theater, my old stomping grounds for many decades)
I drew the name for the quilt which went to a dear friend I have known for over a decade.
What I am seeing awaken within me is a deeper commitment to community.
I am definitely in a service to humanity lifetime, but I have been very much a hermit when not in service.
The experience of allowing myself to receive such an outpouring of help and support by so many calls me to be of service in group settings now, as well as the one-on-one work that comprises most of my life.
There is a power in the flow of being together that I have never had an understanding of before yesterday.
I know. I know. But I am a slow study.
Today I went for my third fill in the expander and am beginning to look more like myself. (At 640 cc's...)
The plastic surgeon wants to do one more fill before surgery but I am going to talk to him about size differentials and weight loss, as I hope *ahem* plan to begin actually doing something physical on a regular basis next year.
Two decades of not doing so is quite enough, thank you.
I am so grateful. So very grateful.
My heart chakra feels like a Macy's Day parade balloon, bouncing and waving 16 stories tall.