A Sunday that, while still hot, has a touch of actual Fall in the air, has me contemplative.
The surgery is set for Tuesday September 20.
I have two weeks to make as much hay as possible while the sun of full mobility is still shining on me.
Walking down the street today, the correlation was made clear, like the silent swoop of a large bird, the movement drawing my inner eye up.
The surgeries that I had in '97 made sure that the pre-cancerous situation then did not run rampant in my body, like the Texas wildfires that are burning even now...To be safe, alive & whole I gave up parts of my body. And never thought twice about it.
Cancer dance redux, I will also give up part of my body, an offering on the altar of Wholeness.
A larger part, a more obvious part, with more steps to it.
But it is the same dynamic.
It makes me wonder what, in the multidimensional scheme of things, I am designing/ participating in?
I don't know that I will ever have a cognitive answer for that query, and that is fine.
Then later in the evening, I had the image of the surgeons working on me, cauterizing, lifting, cauterizing, lifting tissue. My tissue. My breast.
Inch by mammary inch, lifting, lifting my breast away from my body.
And as they lift, a blinding white-gold light shining forth like the light of a million suns.
At first a beam, then a band of brilliance, then a sheath of radiance, then, as they lift the breast completely off,
the room being filled with a pulsing starshine that no human eye could bear, unshielded.
But they will place the breast on a tray, "Get this to pathology, after labelling..."
They will clean, dab, cauterize again & do the rest of their surgical gifts for me.
Nothing to see here, move along, move along...
But the Light is me.
Is for me.
Is showing me...something that I will live into.
This is the way of it here. Always more than one can ever conceive of is recvealing itself.
And it looks like just another day.